The Diary of a Drunken Football Traveller

Buses, Trains and Trams - On The Way To Watching Non-League Football

2010-11-15T08:16:00.000-08:00

Don't worry...I'm still going on my (drunken) travels to football grounds, it's just that I've had a lot of things on in the last few months! Expect some new reports soon, but in the meantime, I'll be posting some classic reports, starting with a trip to Altrincham 2 years ago!

Altrincham 0 - 0 Salisbury City
Saturday 6th September 2008
Blue Square Premier
Moss Lane, Attendance: 1002

The game didn’t quite live up to expectations but I had a good time anyway, as I attended my first Salisbury City match. Salisbury is my ‘other team’ and due to the distance of the place, I’m unable to attend matches, until now.

For Saturday’s match took place at Altrincham, which is just on the other side of Manchester and only an hour and a bit train ride from Wigan. After a rather uneventful train journey (including a bus and tram ride!) I found myself in the Altrincham supporters club bar. It was great and is what clubs like Wigan should have, instead of turfing out genuine supporters and letting in all the corporate pricks. Which is another reason why my love affair with Latics and the Premiership in general, is slipping away.

After a couple of pints, I found myself on the terrace, programme in hand and watched the whole 90 minutes. And that’s it! I wish I could report something else but apart from the Salisbury keeper making a great save just before half-time, nothing really happened in the first half. However, Salisbury were probably the better side in the second half but couldn’t force a winner. It looks like I picked one of their poorest games of the season to watch!

But it was great to sample some Conference football for once, the ground was a ‘proper’ football ground and if the £12 entry fee keeps clubs like Altrincham going, then its money well spent. There was also some great banter between the 950 Altrincham fans and the 50-strong Salisbury contingent too! Credit to the club for having a supporters club though (and a club shop!), it certainly showed me what Latics are missing.

As I got back into Wigan, I went to the pub and watched the England match. I wished I hadn’t, it was a poor game and England scraped a 2-0 win, with both goals coming in the second half. If my love affair with Latics is starting to ebb away, then my England affair is surely dead in the water. I didn’t spot some part-time, shirt wearing, No7 Beckham, ponces hanging around though!

Later I was to find out that Wigan Robin Park had beaten AFC Liverpool, away, 2-1. A fantastic result against a side that was formed by disgruntled supporters of Liverpool and who had also won all their other previous matches. WRP are now 2nd in the league and things are looking up! I just wish I had attended this match instead – a lot of Wiganer’s made the trip to Prescott and helped to swell the crowd to 604!

So as I’m just starting my season watching as much lower league football as I can, things are looking up. Salisbury are still in the upper reaches of the Conference, in 4th, whilst WRP are 2nd, just a point behind AFC Liverpool. Here’s to more great football and days out!

Wanky Wanky Wanky Wanderers

2010-03-14T11:54:00.001-07:00

Bolton Wanderers 4 - 0 Wigan Athletic
Saturday 13th March
Premier League
Reebok Stadium, Attendance: 20,053

I really dislike Bolton Wanderers. Whether it’s their thick supporters, who don’t actually come from Bolton, or perhaps the fact that their ground isn’t actually in Bolton, or maybe because the town has provided the nation with a host of media gobshites, or even for the fact that they are just truly horrible people. I really dislike Bolton Wanderers.

All said in jest of course. Although the sooner Peter Kay fucks off, the better.

We’re on the train to Horwich for this one, after spotting a lad from Chorley with a ‘We 8 Man U’ on the back of his Bolton top, we knew what kind of day this was going to be. To make things worse, once we got there – the pub didn’t allow in away supporters.

After picking up our tickets (for a reasonable £20, to be fair) and getting a bite to eat, we got in the ground and eventually found our seats in a seemingly-packed Latics end. The Reebok Stadium is a strange place. From the outside, it looks very odd and it takes an absolute age to walk round it, but from the inside it looks quite impressive. All stands having two tiers, with all of them connected in a bowl-type shape.

I really want to talk about the game, but that would be lying. Latics just didn’t turn up and let those awful bastards laud it over us. I really can’t understand this – it was just a few days after we outplayed (and beat) Liverpool, after all. We should have had a penalty early on, when Hugo Rodallega was fouled but not long after, a mix-up in the defence saw Johan Elmander, a truly awful player, to slide the ball past Chris Kirkland.

The Wanderers supporters seem somewhat obsessed with inter-breeding and are always on about it. Thankfully our supporters gave it back, but I found it ironic that supporters from a place like Bolton were taunting us about that type of activity. To say that Bolton is ‘The Land That Time Forgot’ is an understatement. We gave them some good-natured abuse back, but it’s not something that I should really go into here!

The rest of the first half was as bland as the fashion sense of the Horwich numpties, with the only notable events being Chris Kirkland making a great save after a Bolton corner and Charles N’Zogbia having a great chance for Latics, which was saved well by Jussi Jaaskelainen. In fact the only positive was spotting our coach driver who took me to Notts County – the Ian McNiece lookalike!

The second half was just truly awful from a Latics point of view. Bolton scored three more, as they were given a penalty just minutes into the half and ‘Super’ Kevin Davies slotted home. Now ‘Super’ Kevin Davies (as the announcer at the stadium calls him) is a man who sums up Bolton in a nutshell. A player with no obvious talent, who bullies his way into games and uses illegal methods to get to the ball. Sadly, we just couldn’t cope with it, Gary Caldwell should have just kicked him in half early in the match. Unfortunately, Caldwell made an error, as he let Matt Taylor in to score the 4th, after Mumba had got their 3rd, after he was allowed to run at the hapless Scottish centre-half.

It was truly a bad day at the office, summed up as Martinez took off Rodallega (a striker) for Hendry Thomas (a defensive midfielder) and Jordi Gomez somehow not hitting the ball on target, when it seemed he couldn’t miss. Still, we all got a bunch of free flags that were handed out prior to the match and as we sang ‘we only came for the flags’ at 4-0 down, it probably wasn’t as ironic as it sounded!

After the match, we attempted to get in the pub again, with no joy. I don’t understand this – at Wigan we roll out the red carpet for away fans and give them great hospitality and there is never any trouble. But I think the way that we were treated here, just wasn’t fair. All we wanted was a quiet drink and wait for a train that wasn’t going to be packed. So we ended up waiting with the Latics Yoof at the station, who made us laugh as they taunted the Bolton supporters, we even joined in whilst on the train! Not sure what the police officer, who was talking to me, thought!

We arrived back in Wigan and immediately had a few drinks and a game of pool or two in The Boulevard. Once again, we agreed it had been a cracking day out - except for the football! To (quite literally) add insult to injury – my bad back had started to flare up again and I couldn’t really walk properly, much to the delight of my mate who kept saying that I ‘had been bummed’. Yeah, thanks for that!

So in agony I went home, another football ground chalked off and another game in this awful season done with. I’m hoping the players can get it together to keep the team in the Premier League this season, but I’m not sure - it’s always one great result, followed by a truly awful result.

A Game of Two Halves

2010-01-24T11:13:00.000-08:00

Notts County 2 - 2 Wigan Athletic
Saturday 23rd January
FA Cup Fourth Round
Meadow Lane, Attendance: 9073

After learning my beloved Wigan Athletic were to play either Notts County or Forest Green Rovers in the 4th round of the FA Cup, I immediately made plans for an away trip. It’s very rare that I go away with Latics these days, apart from being very expensive, these Premier league grounds and their supporters just aren’t fun! Anyway, after County had got the better of Forest Green, it was a trip to Nottingham for yours truly!

I had originally planned to go on the train, have a few beers around the city centre and just generally have a potter about the place. However, my Dad came with me and was insistent on getting a coach down. So for the first time in this blog’s history – I was on the road!

We arrived at the DW Stadium in good time to catch the coach, which arrived and was seemingly being driven by the Scottish actor Ian McNeice. On second glance, it wasn’t him, but someone who looked remarkably like him! No beer on the coach, as it isn’t allowed, but I spotted one chap taking a swig out of a Carlsberg can. I kicked myself for not bringing anything, me and a mate once filled a shandy bottle with beer and drank it on a coach to Tranmere!

We arrived after about two and a half hours, Dad needed a cig and I needed a beer. We walked past Meadow Lane and I bought a programme off a fit looking piece and we made our way to the nearby ‘Trent Navigation’ for a pint. We were warned that this pub was a bit of a trouble-hotspot in the past but despite being packed to the rafters, looked in good condition! Didn’t see many Wiganers knocking about, but the atmosphere seemed friendly enough!

After a beer, we decided to got a couple in the ground, but once we got in, we just saw that there was only one bar in our part of the concourse. The massive queue that had formed there was for food AND beer. In my opinion, it was an absolute shambles and would have been better if there were two queues – one for ale and one for food.

So with no beer and feeling pissed off, we sat down to watch the match. About 1,300 Wiganers had made the trip and were in fine voice. However, the match got underway and the less said about the first half the better. Lee Hughes got a barrage of insults from the Latics’ faithful. Hughes had recently killed a man, whilst drunk driving, when he played against us for West Brom a few years ago. Since then, he had served a pitiful jail sentence, signed for Oldham and was now plying his trade in League Two. I think it’s fair to say we don’t like Hughes and we made sure he got the message. Sadly, he grabbed the first goal and immediately went over to us and started dancing before the goal music played. Just shows that the remorse he claims to have isn’t quite there. Any respectful person would have took the insults like a man and avoided acting the wanker, we all know he is.

Latics were a shambles. ‘Dial M For Murder’ was running rings around Antonio Amaya and when the Spaniard let him in, Titus Bramble had to bring him down. As a result, Ben Davies hit a great free kick to make it 2-0. We were speechless and the travelling support booed the players off at half-time. True, we had hit the post twice in that first half, but our overall play was just awful and we deserved to be losing. The onlooking Sven Goran-Eriksson must have been delighted.

Half-time was spent amusingly cheering on two kids teams playing football on the pitch. Chants of ‘Green Army’ showed which of the sides we were supporting and a few ‘ooohs’ and ‘aaahs’ were followed by a cheer, as one of lads scored a superb goal, after a great piece of skill. Chants of ‘Bobby sign him up’ rang around the away end - whether or not Roberto Martinez has made a bid for the young lad, remains to be seen.

Thankfully, we came out in the second half a totally different team. Amaya had been hauled off and Steve Gohouri replaced him. It didn’t take long for Latics to get on the scoresheet, as Jason Scotland grabbed his first goal for Latics after a neat one-two with Rodegella. It was the start we needed and from then on we dominated. County still had their chances – new Latics goalkeeper Vladimir Stojković making three good saves to keep us in it. As time was running out, Charles N’Zogbia took a corner which was headed across the goal by Bramble and Ben Watson nodded in the equaliser. The away end went wild, as we realised that we had got out of jail. A bit like Lee Hughes really.

Both sides had chances to win it, but on reflection – a draw was a fair result. Both sides will have to do it all over again at the DW next Tuesday. I enjoyed my (brief) visit to Nottingham, but would have liked to spent longer there. The ground, despite the issues with the concourse, was very good. It had the feel of a good-old fashioned ground and that in my book, is what football grounds should be like.

The journey home was quicker than I thought it would be, Ian McNeice obviously wanted to get home for his tea. Oh well, as always with away games – a good day out, except for the football!

Fine-Looking Bar Maids, Lipstick Lesbians and Wet, Wet, Wet

2009-11-14T17:12:00.000-08:00

Glossop North End 1 - 0 Dunston UTS
Saturday 15th November
FA Vase Second Round
Surrey Street, Attendance: 378

After a couple of months off and with no Latics game this week, I decided it was time to hit the football travelling trail again - by visiting Glossop. Last season, ‘The Hillmen’ finished as F.A Vase runners up - today they played in the same competition against North East side, Dunston UTS. (Before you ask - Dunston is a place in Gateshead, it has nothing to do with the orangutan from the 1996 film ‘Dunston Checks In’)

After an easy enough trip into Manchester, where my eyes nearly popped out of my head when I saw that the two young girls stood opposite me on the train were ‘more than friends’, if you catch my drift! Arrived at Piccadilly and then it was on to Glossop, where on arrival, I had a lovely pint served by the loveliest barmaid of the year so far, in ‘The George Hotel’. Sadly, this is were it all went wrong, as after leaving I somehow took a wrong turn, just as the heavens opened and left me totally piss-wet through! I eventually found my way and into the ground – 15 minutes late!

I got in okay, paid my £6 entry fee and was informed by the turnstile man that Glossop were 1-0 up and had also missed a penalty. Brilliant! I hope that I hadn’t missed the best part of the match, because of a wrong turning. As it turns out – I did. Bollocks!

Surrey Street is a nice ground for this level and there certainly was a good-sized crowd cheering on the home side. The locals were having a bit of banter with some Geordies, who had made the trip in quite a number. To be honest, what with the atmosphere and everything, this tie felt more like a game in the Conference North than the step 6 game that it was.

Glossop looked the better side in the first half, without really threatening the Dunston goal much. They seemed to win the ball quite easily but their final ball just wasn’t there. I was hoping this would change in the second half, as there only looked like being one winner – the bloody wet weather!

Half-time came and I had a potter about the ground and found the toilet before any attempt to find some food was thwarted as there seemed to be large queues everywhere. Although I did somehow find myself in the ‘club officials cabin’ and was about to snatch one of the free butties before I thought better of it and made my way out - I didn’t need the hassle of being arrested in North Derbyshire, as well as being soaked to the bone!

The second half was much of the same, but it was Dunston who looked the better side. Cross after cross was launched into the box, but the Glossop defence held out firm. I really wish there was more to write home about, but there really isn’t! Apart from a cross that was headed just wide and an injury time corner which saw every single player in the Glossop box, there isn’t much to tell!

Glossop held out and the majority of the 378 crowd went home happy, whereas I was soaking wet, freezing, hungry and just wanted to go home. I was going to visit Hadfield, the place where ‘The League of Gentlemen’ was filmed, but I thought better of it - it was pitch black now, as well as being cold and wet!

I managed to get a pint in ‘The Star Inn’, taking in a bit of the pointless friendly between England and Brazil, played in Doha, before buggering off home. Thankfully, much like the match that I saw, nothing much happened, as I was left to dry off in peace! No young Lessies to stare at, sadly!

Oh well, at least it got me out of the house!

Surrey Street photo taken from the 'Where's the Tea Hut?' blog

The Yoof of Today

2009-07-28T20:26:00.000-07:00

Crewe Alexandra 1 - 0 Wigan Athletic
Thursday 16th July
Pre-Season Friendly
Gresty Road, Attendance: 2063

Roberto Martinez’s first game in charge of Latics didn’t go to plan but as usual – ‘it was a cracking day out, spoiled by the football!’ Okay, so this match was actually played at night, so it was technically a ‘night out’ but there’s no need to stand in the way of an age-old sentence quoted by many Wigan Athletic fans’ down the years!

Crewe’s Gresty Road (or is it Alexandra Stadium?) was the venue and the train was the mode of transport. Crewe is great for trains, as well as being the ‘gateway for trains going north and south’ its also right next to Gresty Road, well that’s what everyone said anyway – its actually a two minute walk further up the street and round the corner!

After a quick livener in The Swan and Railway (quick as in five minutes) its on the choo-choo with what seems like the majority of Latics’ ‘Yoof’ (or ‘teenage fans’ if you’re posh!). There doesn’t seem to be an item of decent clothing or brain cell between them and I feared this would cause me problems later on – and it did.

I somehow managed to avoid paying on the journey (which I believe some people call ‘Jibbing’) not on purpose mind, its not like I didn’t have the money but my defence for this is that I’m off to London tomorrow morning, so Virgin Trains would be getting/robbing a lot more money off me than a poxy £8 to Crewe (I have a railcard, which I paid for before anyone starts!) About half-an-hour after boarding the train, I was enjoying my first beer in Crewe, the ‘Corner Bar’ pub was the host and it looked in fine shape for a pub close to a football ground. Wonder how last that’ll last for?

It was then on to the ground, where I accidently ran into a crowd of the Yoof who were labelling the ground ‘crap’ and ‘not a patch on the JJB’. Two very incorrect statements as grounds like Gresty Road are what football is about, not bloody overpriced and overrated Premier League ‘arenas’ as they are now referred to. God knows what these kids would say if we visit a ground with terracing!

And that is what pisses me off about some of our ‘new’ fans – they don’t have a clue/can’t be arsed to learn our history because contrary to what some other Premier League, armchair fans or ‘Interweb Warrior’ tell you, we DO have one. That’s what I find fascinating about things that I attach myself to. Be it a football club, a person or anything else, I love going back and seeing how something was created and what it went through to be as it is now. Some make fascinating reading, some don’t.

But I tell you what – A club born in 1932, which has to put up with everthing from money troubles, prejustice, sly jibes and perceived lack of support to the top flight club they are today, is what I call having a GREAT HISTORY. Far better than staying in the top division for 100 years and not achieving very much! The saying always goes – ‘only those that have been disappointed will truly appreciate success’. And believe me, Latics have had many ‘disappointments’ over the years!

So back to the match itself, which on viewing the first half - wasn’t really a match! Crewe simply outplayed a Latics side, including Kirkland, Bramble, Scharner, Watson, Kapo and de Ridder. They had the most chances and it was no real surprise as Joel Grant turned in a rebound after Chris Kirkland had saved the striker’s first attempt. Latics’ rallied towards the end of the half but didn’t really create anything of note.

The entire team was changed in the second half, Pollitt, Melchiot, Boyce, Koumas, Brown and debutant Jordi Gomez (or ‘Geordie’ as the idiot Yoof’s were incorrectly calling him) were all brought on and we looked a bit better. It’s worth noting that we didn’t have a recognised striker in the whole squad (okay, maybe Kapo can play there but the man’s not even a footballer to be fair!). I believe young Polish midfield starlets, Tomaz Cywka and Tomaz Kupiz both played upfront on their own.

We pressed Crewe for most of the second half, with their only chance going through a Anthony Elding effort that Pollitt superbly tipped over. It was mostly Latics though, with Koumas showing some of the potential which we know he’s got but have very rarely seen, at least under Steve Bruce. It was Koumas that came mightily close towards the end with a free-kick that just whistled past the post, as most Latics fans’ (and the steward behind me) thought was in. Melchiot also went on a mazy run, beating about four players before his shot cannoned off the post. It just wasn’t going in and Crewe earned a well-deserved friendly win.

Obviously I was a bit disappointed - we had been beaten by a League 2 side after all but looking back, if we had any forwards on the pitch, I’m sure we would have probably won the match. We seemed to have long periods were we kept the ball but there was nobody able to hold it up. Hopefully the incoming Jason Scotland will be able to repeat his goal record he had under Martinez at Swansea. But praise where praise is due - Crewe deserved their win and I can see them being involved in the promotion race at the end of the season. They looked very sharp but that’s no surprise, seeing as they had been back in training for a few weeks whereas we had been back barely a week.

So after spending the entire match surrounded by the Yoof, who despite their shortcomings, were in good singing voice (but sang some of the songs wrong), I escaped to have a couple of more pints in a couple more Crewe hostelries. I popped into ‘The Last Orders’ which wasn’t like Wigan’s version at all, which is a welcome change. Although they had the karaoke on and some Disco Dave was singing ‘The Killers’ I resisted the temptation of throwing my glass at him! Later I popped into The British Lion (not literally, I’m against bestiality in any form – it was a pub!) before getting the train home with the Yoof, who had been at the station all the time, under the watchful eye of the local constabulary.

And can anyone tell me why there were police at the match? It was a friendly, watched by barely three thousand people, so why the need? I can just about understand them being at the train station (well Transport Police certainly, not the Cheshire Constabulary who were holding back the Yoof) but at the ground, it’s totally unnecessary.

The journey back wasn’t great as the Yoof decided to shout at a girl to ‘get her t*ts out, which wasn’t right, seeing as many of the Yoof had never seen a pair, this side of being breastfed. It’s funny once but constantly singing it again and again to just one girl on her own is bang out or order. I believe she scuttled off to another carriage, probably in fear of being mauled by the pre-pubescent teens. They have absolutely no style or class whatsoever and the worse thing is they are representing Wigan.

The train arrives back and I’m relieved to be back and head off to the Boulevard for a few pints, but not before hearing the line of the day from one of the terrible teens who was talking to his mate; ‘Nah, me mam’s picking me up’ - sums it all up really!

The rest of the night is a blur as I have a few in the Boulevard before stumbling somewhere else and then to a kebab shop, where I chat with a nice girl, who wants me to be her ‘friend’ on Facebook. I’m still waiting for the friend request. Later I would stumble into somewhere else but can’t remember much, all this and I had to be up early to go to London in the morning!

So a great start to the season then!

Lost In Beggars and Brews

2009-04-29T19:11:00.000-07:00

Southport 0 - 1 Gateshead
Wednesday 29th April
Blue Square North Play-Off Semi-Final First Leg
Haig Avenue, Attendance: 1011

It was always going to be a very interesting trip to watch the Conference North play-off first leg between Southport and Gateshead at Haig Avenue but as always – the football played second fiddle!

I was to make the short train journey to Meols Cop, the nearest station to Southport’s Haig Avenue ground. The walk from the station to the ground was quite simple and I didn’t expect to be met with two many problems.

The train from Wigan was slightly delayed, so as I sat waiting, a chap with a scouse accent came over asking for money. I was sat next to a rather lovely-looking girl, so I wanted to keep face, as you do. After giving him what I had in change, he went on to ask the girl and others waiting at the station for money. Apparently, he had just ‘come from the police station’ and needed some train fare. Me and the girl shared a look and a few words (and that was it - unfortunately!) until the bloke came back. Thankfully the train arrived so I couldn’t tell him to f**k off in front of the girl!

I arrived at my destination in good time but as with all football trips - I get lost trying to find the ground! What looked like a simple route on a map, turned into a nightmare! I eventually found the ground and took my seat in the main stand for the match.

Despite being hidden away, Haig Avenue is a decent ground to visit. I couldn’t be arsed standing, so I sat in the stand, which for this level of football, is very comfortable! The other 3 sides of the ground are made up by terracing, which is where the singing fans stand! The view of the ground is pretty good too and the refreshing sea air was a bonus. It’s just a shame the ground isn’t located nearer to the town centre!

The first half was rather tense, Southport looked rather dodgy at the back and soon this weakness was to affect them as a mix-up led to Gateshead striker, Graeme Armstrong prodding the ball past the home keeper and into the net - after just 15 minutes.

The first half just petered out after the goal, with Southport’s only chance being skied over the bar. I ventured down to the food cabin for a half-time brew, which was awful and didn’t improve my mood one bit (there was only one pub in the area and I had arrived too late to have a quick one and I needed to get to the station right after the match!).

The second half was much better, with Southport on top, as they constantly threatened down the right-hand side. Gateshead though, always looked dangerous on the break and they almost made it 2-0 but the post came to the rescue of the home side.

Southport threw everything at the visitors but long ball after long ball was cleared and the Gateshead defence held firm. There was even time for ex-Latics player, Tony Dinning, to make an appearance for Gateshead, as he came on with about 15 minutes to go. In fact, Gateshead should have had a second late on but McMillan in the Southport goal made a good save after a Gateshead forward was put clean through.

The final whistle went and the home support slumped off. It could have been a lot worse but on balance – Southport should have at least drawn the match. They now face an uphill battle to win through to the final, as they visit the North East on Sunday.

I made my way from the ground but somehow got lost again! Thankfully I eventually found my way and waited for the train back the holy land of Wigan. It was an ok trip but if I bring myself round to visiting Haig Avenue again, it will be an afternoon game and on a weekend! That way I can hop on a train to the centre of Southport and enjoy its fine ‘facilities’!

This wouldn’t be a proper trip if I didn’t drink any ale, so I made sure I had a few in Wigan when I got back! Nothing special - just toasting the fact that I managed to find my way home!

I was left wondering though, if my beggar friend found his way home?

Packed Trains, Streakers, Beers and Chipped Teeth - Just Another Day Out At The Football!

2009-04-13T00:56:00.000-07:00

Lancaster City 1 - 0 Bamber Bridge
Friday 10th April
Unibond League Division One North
Giant Axe, Attendence: 249

I had hoped for an epic day out but after a drab first half, I didn’t expect a goal, streakers, winning £5 on a quiz machine and ending my night slipping over and smashing my face on the road!

I was a bit worried that I’ll miss kick off, as I was running late to catch the train. I needn’t have worried though, as the good old trains were running late! I managed to squeeze on a train for the 25 minute journey to Lancaster. Sadly I was stood with a large number of people, who were doing their best to create themselves some space! I’ve never been on a train in India but I suppose this was the U.K equivalent!

I arrived in good time and after a walk around the castle (which is actually a prison that opened in 1196!) I caught strains of some drunken songs. After investigating I found a number of Bamber Bridge fans in Hawaiian shirts! Whether this is something they do on bank holiday games, I don’t know. It was amusing though!

I ended up following them to The Giant Axe and the club’s ‘Dolly Blue Tavern’ social club. The place has a nice set up and is a credit to the club, I drank a pint in record time to take my place on the terraces. The Giant Axe is a good ‘old school’ football ground. It has some covered seating on one side of the ground, with covered terracing all around, apart from the side I was stood on! I cowered beneath the roof of a portacabin -type building for the match.

The game, as mentioned, wasn’t great. Bamber Bridge were easily the better side in the first half, with the home keeper making three brilliant saves. Apart from having a shot cleared off the line, Lancaster huffed and puffed but couldn’t get anywhere near the visitor’s goal. After an uneventful half-time, the second half was much better. The singing Lancaster supporters moved to near where I was for this half and I was impressed as they kept on singing throughout the half. Apparently this was their manager, Tony Hesketh’s, first game back in charge. Apparently he is some kind of legend at the club and he was certainly lapping the attention up!

The home fans continued to back their side with great noise and that noise grew even louder when a shot from 30 yards out was directed into the net via the head of Mark Jackson. The Lancaster defence held out, despite Bamber Bridge looking dangerous at every set piece. There was even was time for a pair of streakers to entertain the crowd! They ran around the pitch before jumping back into the away end! Superb stuff but sadly - they were both men!

The game finished and the majority of the crowd went home happy but for me it was time to hunt for a chippy, what with it being Good Friday and all. A tray of chips later and I went on a pub crawl around the area. I quite enjoyed it and a special mention must go to the ‘Ring O’ Bells’ pub for having an open fire, great beer and fine looking barmaids! I ended my Lancaster visit in some kind of underground bar that described itself as ‘historic’. Sat near me were two student types that were discussing the in-and-outs of the film ‘The Shawshank Redemption’ and how ‘Morgan Freeman is one of the best actors in Hollywood’. I had to get out of there quickly - as soon as I drank up though! It was back to the train station and home.

I had felt a little tired earlier but I brought myself to having another mini pub crawl, ending the night in the Tudor, where I won a fiver on the quiz machine! Not bad considering I only spent a quid! I used my winnings to buy myself some food at the kebab shop (it was now about 1am, so it wasn’t Good Friday anymore!) and made my way home.

A cracking day out was marred as I somehow managed to slip over and smash my face into the road, just 100 yards away from my home! I look like I’ve been in a fight and I’m going to try and book a dental appointment soon – as I chipped one of my teeth! Alcohol may have played a part – but my trainers aren’t the grippiest! So that’s my excuse!

It was still a good day out though – I had a good laugh anyway! Here’s hoping I get my tooth fixed at a price that won’t break the bank!

Cheers to codofthenorth of the Lancaster City Fans' Forum for the match photos!